A Better Weigh: Stop Yo-Yo Dieting and Emotional Eating

EFT leads to 70 pound weight loss

2010-08-07T09:17:00.000-05:00

I have struggled with weight since I was a teenager. At my top weight I was 234 pounds and wearing a size 1X. I'd always heard that it was harder to lose weight as you get older. I work as a therapist, so I sit for a living. I wasn't very active. At 50-something, I was starting to ache all over in the morning. I was only half-hearted about exercise.

My motivation to lose weight came from an unlikely source. I had been diagnosed with a systemic candidas infection (yeast) caused by two rounds of prednisone I'd taken to rid myself of a particularly stubborn case of poison ivy. Within 2 months of completing that treatment, I had an angry, red, itchy rash from my pubic bone to my earlobes. I couldn't sleep or wear tight fitting clothes. I was afraid my skin would scar from the boils of the rash. It was miserable, but very motivating.

My doctors didn't know how to treat this, other than to give me cremes which did not help. I got on the internet and learned that the only way to cure the candidas was to "starve" it by removing all foods from your diet that fed the yeast. That included sugar, yeast, mushrooms, high sugar fruits and juices, potatoes and all fermented products like cheese, vinegar, alcohol, Since I was a self-confessed "sugar addict" and chocoholic, I thought this would be very difficult.

So I started using EFT to overcome my cravings for sugar, pasta, bread and simple carbohydrates. The cravings went away instantly. Instead of craving chocolate, I now crave broccolli! Within a month the angry, itchy rash was completely gone. And I started to lose weight without doing anything else. Within the first year I lost 35 pounds. I plateaued for awhile. Then I lost another 15, then plateaued again. Then I lost another 20 pounds and am now hovering around a "normal" weight for my height and age. Actually, I now wear a size 12 in jeans and anywhere from an 8 - 10 in a dress. I haven't been that small since junior high school and I'm 56 years old! So much for it being harder to lose weight when you get older. Oh, and 2.5 years ago, just because I had so much energy, I took up Shotokan Karate. My goal is Black Belt before 60!

Thank you EFT!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Licensed Professional Counselor and Motivational Speaker
1-877-949-5935

PSYCH-K is coming to St. Louis

2010-07-18T08:27:00.000-05:00

Free Your Mind!
“Rewrite the'software' of your mind in order to change the 'printout' of your life" — Robert. M. Williams, M.A. Originator of PSYCH-K®

PSYCH-K® Weekend Workshop

July 31 - August 1, 2010
9AM—6PM
St. Louis, MO

Discover your body/mind's "innerwisdom" and its extraordinary ability to change negative, old, self-limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs with PSYCH-K®.

Your life is a reflection of your beliefs. These beliefs – usually subconscious – are the cumulative effect of life-long "programming." If your life feels like you're trapped in a prison of limitations, or you're just not living up to your full potential, chances are you have a conflict between your conscious desires and your subconscious beliefs. This kind of conflict shows up in relationships, self-esteem, spirituality, health and body including weight loss, prosperity, personal power and grief and loss. If you are facing challenges in any of these areas, personally or professionally, PSYCH-K® helps you communicate directly with both the conscious and the subconscious minds! This unique process is a blend of various tools for change and is easy to learn and simple to use!

PSYCH-K®is unlike anything else out there. Personal growth books, seminars, lectures, videos/DVD's, etc are great, but they only address the conscious mind. The true powerhouse of change is within the subconscious mind! Without affecting change here, conscious change is only a fleeting change and you are right back where you started from. Old habits and patterns are strong and overpower the conscious desire to change because they are rooted in the powerful subconscious mind. Change habits and beliefs at this level and you have a team player that is backing the conscious desires for growth!

PSYCH-K® is effective and improvements are seen quickly. Rob Williams the founder of PSYCH-K® was a psychotherapist. People quitasking for traditional therapy and started asking for PSYCH-K® once they realized how profound their changes were. Save time and money with one weekend learning PSYCH-K®!

This training can be used in a business setting and is a Facilitator Training workshop. Graduates from the program can employ the skills they learn the very next day in their professional setting. Many psychologists, osteopaths, chiropractors, counselors, personal coaches, massage therapists, etc. put their new skills to work with their clients right away because these processes are so powerful and effective. Most people regain their initial investment within 4-5 private sessions. Obviously, not everyone who attends will want to use this in a professional setting, but you do have that option!

The benefits below arejust a sampling of the positive changes PSYCH-K® can create in someone’s life:

• Addictions Released • Allergies Elimination • Assertive Action • Better Problem Solving • Better Relationships • Closer Connection to the Divine • Greater Connection to Personal Power • Greater Internal Peace • Greater Success • Greater Vision • Happier Life • Healthier Body • Healthier Habits • Improved Self Esteem • Improved Sleep • Increased Confidence • Increased Creativity • Increased Prosperity • Increased Values • More Relaxed State of Being • Passionate Living • Phobias Vanquished • Positive Lifestyle • Release Grief & Loss • Resolved Anger • Spiritual Growth • Supportive Beliefs • Trauma Release

July 31 & August 1, 2010
9am-6pm both days
St. Louis, MO
Class limited to 10

Instructor: Yolanda Comiskey

PSYCH-K® Basic Workshop - $600.00
PSYCH-K® Basic Workshop with friend / partner - $550.00
PSYCH-K® Basic Workshop Early Registration - $500.00
PSYCH-K® Basic Workshop Early Registration with friend / partner - $450.00
Includes book: The Missing Piece Peace In Your Life! by Robert M. Williams, M.A.
Early registration is 2 weeks prior to first day of workshop

What people are saying about PSYCH-K® and the workshop

"PSYCH-K® is a great tool for reprogramming conscious and unconscious habits. After my first day back on the job, I noticed I was much more focused and energetic; got loads done. Thanks so much."

Frank L. , St. Louis, MO

"Wed. evening I balanced for respect and appreciation with emphasis on my Mom and brother. Thursday morning the phone rang, it was my brother and we had a wonderful conversation, no issues or nonsense. About an hour afterwards I got so tickled and realized it was the PSYCH-K kicking in. Thursday night my Mom got real serious and thanked me for all I've done for her an how much she appreciated my help WOW!!
That's all I can say. Thank you, Thank you."

Carol M. , Herrin, IL

"My first balance was to over-ride sixty years of motion sickness and my current dread of driving because it is so difficult to stay awake behind the wheel. Today I drove to St. Louis, a total of six hours on the road. I took a new route that I had never traveled and left the city in heavy 5 pm traffic. I felt totally peaceful and so good that I sang almost the entire trip back. I never became sleepy or nauseated, and I have been working on a difficult editing project since the moment I arrived home. I just noticed it is after 10 p.m. and I am still feeling great. Gee, I guess I'm balanced!!"

Kathy C. , Anna, IL

“PSYCH-K® continues to open the doors of possibility and healing -
Simple yet impactful, individualized yet comprehensive, creative yet
grounded in sound principles.”

S. Sultenfuss
Buckhead Center for Health

Sign up for one of these workshops and join a growing community of people in your area who are taking hold of their life and creating change that matters.

Contact: Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
314-246-0507
Annette@GotStressGetHelp.com
Licensed Professional Counselor and Motivational Speaker

Or go to http://www.consciousfreedom.net/workshopbasic.html to register online.

Food vs. Mood - Using Emotional Freedom Technique to Reduce Cravings

2010-07-10T12:37:00.000-05:00

Food vs Mood

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Emotional Freedom Techniques Helps Emotional Eaters Lose Weight

2010-05-20T09:16:00.002-05:00

Hi All,

I have been facilitating "A Better Weigh" weight loss support groups for the past year using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to help emotional eaters deal more directly with the underlying emotions that drive their overeating.

I just wanted to share a recent testimonial with you from a woman who's been in the group only 3 times.

"Have lost 6 pounds! WOW!" Angie P (Note: as of 5/28/10 Angie has lost 8 pounds! You go GIRL!)
“ Wonderful people and wonderful mind-opening ideas to act upon! ”

And from other past and current group members:

“ Annette shares valuable techniques on how to get in touch with and help with emotional eating. She is genuine, fun and compassionate. ”
—Judy

"I am so pleased with finding my lost joy by using EFT. My sister said I am so happy she can hardly stand me! Lost 8 lbs. since class." - Dianne, age, 50-something

"I thought the workshop was very helpful and enlightening. It had me in awe of how our minds are made and how it works."

"I cannot believe --no, I do believe! --how empowered I feel after using EFT and PSYCH-K tools! I lost 4 pounds over the past 4 weeks."
"I am starting to see success. I have lost almost 15 lbs since starting this program. I'm really excited about that! "

If you want to learn more about these groups, go to A Better Weigh

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO

The Day My Thighs Stopped Rubbing Together

2009-11-08T00:47:00.001-06:00

I think I'm officially normal sized now that my thighs don't rub together. I can wear jeans smaller than what I wore in high school almost 40 years ago! I remember the day I noticed my thighs stopped rubbing together. It must have happened before I noticed, but I recall feeling something distinctly different about my body then. I felt more graceful and "airy." I guess when you can see daylight between your thighs, "airy" is the right word.

I had been doing some EFT tapping on, "I have the thighs of Christy Brinkley." For those of you not old enough to remember, Christy Brinkley was the first "athletic" model. In other words, she had muscle and meat on her bones, especially having muscular thighs.

Body shapes go through fads and fashions too. The "booty" of J Lo and Beyonce harkens back to the 1890's when women would wear bustles to give the impression of more "junk in the trunk." Kate Moss was not the first waif-thin supermodel. Twiggy was that in the 1960's. Marilyn Monroe was a size 16 the day she posed nude for the first Playboy magazine.

So, love your body no matter what it's shape and size. If you live long enough, your shape will be in fashion sooner or later.

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

50 pound weight loss after age 50

2009-08-18T08:14:00.001-05:00

Since I've written last, I've lost a total of 50 pounds! Let me get you up to speed on what happened. In 2006 I got poison ivy and had to have 2 rounds of prednisone to get rid of it. In October, only 2 months later, I got a red, swollen, itchy rash that spread rapidly across my entire torso, up my neck and to my ears. Turns out I had a systemic yeast infection as a result of the prednisone.

My doctors prescribed cremes that had cortisone in it, which only made the rash grow faster. None of them knew to tell me that only a complete change in diet would stop the yeast. So I went online and did alot of reading. Believe me when you itch that much and can't wear tight fitting clothes because of the discomfort, you are motivated!

I learned that I had to stop "feeding" the yeast and "starve" it out of my body. That meant cutting out all sugars (including fruit and honey) and artificial sweetners, anything fermented, like vinegar, cheese, and alchohol, nothing with yeast or fungi in it, so no more mushrooms. I also stay away from potatoes and white rice. It's something about the type of carbohydrate in it. Finally, I only eat chicken that's been raised without anti-biotics. Since I don't eat beef, that's not a problem. I still eat fish. I think there was something about no caffeine, but since I don't drink coffee or caffinated beverages, I only had to give up chocolate.

What I had to do was to increase the alkalinity of my body. Eating green vegetables does that. Staying away from sugar and high fat beef does that. I also have food sensitivities to peanuts, corn and wheat, so I avoid them as much as possible.

That being said, I thought giving up sugar and chocolate would be the hardest thing. I could eat a one pound bag for M & M's at a sitting, so I thought this would be my stumbling block. But I used EFT on my cravings and within a couple of days the craving for sweets disappeared! Now I crave, of all things, brocolli!

Gradually, I learned what I could eat and started to experiment with new recipes. I have a simple palate, so I don't need alot of fancy dishes. I just need enough variety so I don't get bored. Otherwise, I don't think about food much.

Well, the weight started to fall off. I lost 35 pounds within the first 10-12 months. Then I hit a plateau for about a year. I maybe lost another 5 pounds the next year. Not only was I losing weight, but I was gaining energy. The low-grade depression that I came to accept as part of my life also lifted. The mental fog cleared up. I felt better than I had in 20 years.

Recently, I decided that I was ready to lose the next 10 pounds. It was the weirdest thing. I didn't change my exercise program at all. Instead I did more EFT and some PSYCH-K on that goal and the weight dropped off in a month!

Now I'm getting ready to lose the next 15 pounds. I'll be down to the weight I was in my 20's when I do so!

Now I'm teaching classes to help emotional eaters and yo-yo dieters change the subconscious beliefs that sabotage their weight loss goals success.

Stay tuned!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

EFT and Food Cravings

2006-07-09T08:04:00.002-05:00

EFT, Emotional Freedom Technique, is a powerful way to reduce or remove food cravings. I've seen women who are "off the charts" in craving chocolate totally eliminate the craving within a few minutes.

EFT can also be used to curb emotional overeating. If your eating is emotionally driven, you can handle the emotional intensity with EFT instead of using food to manage that emotion.

Three years ago, I was diagnosed with a systemic candidas infection that resulted in a painful, itchy rash that spread from my pubic bone up my torso to my earlobes. I had to stop eating sugar in a hurry because that was the only way to eliminate the "yeast" from my system, thus starving it. I used EFT tapping to eliminate my sugar cravings and the rash was gone in about a month and has never come back! Oh, and I have lost 70 pounds in the process!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Dealing with Feelings

2005-07-16T09:30:00.001-05:00

One thing that is coming to my awareness is when I stop using food to numb or manage my emotions is how many feelings are rising to the surface. I remind myself it's like what happens when you stop any addiction...the feelings you were trying to block show up...FULL force! Believe me, they're NOT the fun feelings I want to deal with. I'm feeling more anxious and lonely and disappointed about my life's direction lately. I want to run hard and fast from those feelings. But instead, I'm really starting to turn towards them and give myself some time to go into them (as best I can) and gently ask my feelings what they want of me, what they are here to teach me.

When I can do so, when I can LISTEN to my feelings instead of numb them or run from them, they are telling me some pretty powerful things about who I am and what I need to do. That amazes me. So, I've decided to be persistent and lean into my anxiety until it tells me what it needs to. Now, mind you, that's not the same as reacting to fear. I know that I don't want to live my life run by my fears. I want to drop down below the fears and wait for the grain of truth that needs attending to that seems to be delivered in a package of anxiety.

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Who Do You Think You Are? and Other Toxic Messages

2005-05-27T15:50:00.001-05:00

This is a question my father used to pose to me when I was getting "too big for my britches." I never had a good response to it, but would hang my head in shame. In my family, it was not okay for me to be who I was...and I was the kid who was "different."

Now I would answer my father, "I'm ME!!! Isn't it GREAT!?!" Instead of feeling bad about my strengths, interests, talents, and human frailties, I am embracing them and am (excuse the pun) "living large" at being myself and expressing all of who I am. It's all I ever wanted. And I don't have to be thin to do it.

The other toxic message came from my mother. When I was upset or stubborn, she would say to me, "Don't BE that way!" I really hated hearing that. Again, I felt invalidated for the unique person that I was. My self expression irritated or embarrassed her.

Who are you at your essence? What are the unique qualities, talents, and interests you bring to the world? Who would it threaten if you expressed all of who you are and how you feel? Are you still listening to the same messages in your head and hiding your light under a bushel basket?

I'm not. And you know what.....it's alot of fun being me!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Clothes That Don't Fit or Flatter

2005-05-20T15:43:00.001-05:00

Well, I've been looking at my closet full of old clothes that "drape" to conceal my curves....the t-shirts and blouses with no structure, the full long skirts....you know, those broomstick skirts, where one size fits all.

Geneen Roth asks, "What are you waiting to let yourself have or do when you become thin?" I've been waiting to lose weight before giving myself fashionable, pretty or expensive clothes.

Today I feel liberated and excited! I cleaned out my closets and am taking 5 garbage bags of dowdy clothes and "comfortable" shoes to the Thrift Shop. Just because I'm voluptious doesn't mean I have to dress like an old bag lady!

What are you waiting for?

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Strange Food Cravings

2005-05-15T08:15:00.001-05:00

Since I'm now looking forward to getting hungry and start my meal by paying attention to my hunger and asking myself, "What do you WANT to eat?" I am surprised to find that I want things like eggs for breakfast (my usual breakfast was 1/2 a bagel with creme cheese and OJ) and vegetables for lunch and dinner.

Oh, and I can now attest to the fact that cravings for sweet things do stop. Once I am satisfied that I can have anything I want and there are NO BAD FOODS, then my desire for sweet waxes and wanes. Today, I can't imagine wanting anything sugary. This is the "voice" of my stomach talking, not my head...because my head always thinks sugar is a good idea.

So I find myself wanting brocolli and carrots and cauliflower lately.

Who woulda thought?

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Looking foward to getting hungry

2005-05-11T19:42:00.001-05:00

Wow! I never thought I'd look foward to getting hungry. Sometimes I didn't even let myself get hungry. I was one of those people who eat "for the hunger to come." So I rarely experienced getting really hungry.

What I've noticed since I've waited until I got hungry to eat, is that I more clearly know what I'm hungry for. It's not just "I could eat." It's more like " I want chicken soup with brocolli and chocolate for dessert!"

Eating when I'm hungry is becoming a pleasure, especially when I give myself exactly what I want to eat and eat enough to be satisfied.

The effect of this is a sense of peace around hunger, not fear, which is what I used to feel.

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Who woulda thought! I lost weight.

2005-05-07T15:34:00.001-05:00

About 2 weeks ago I had to go to the doctor and, of course, I got weighed. Well, the first good news was that I hadn't gained as much over the winter as I thought I had (I don't weigh myself), but when I went back last week, I'd lost 2 lbs (and I didn't take off my shoes to "cheat!")

I'm really focusing on eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm satisfied. Sometimes I end up leaving food on the plate. Sometimes I eat everything. I'm actually starting to look forward to getting hungry and asking myself what I'm hungry for. Today it was spinach lasagna and asparagus. That amazes me...that I actually have a desire for vegetables.

It truly is an adventure.

See ya!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

"I want MORE!!!"

2005-05-04T23:55:00.001-05:00

I've noticed that when I eat in a hurry, my mind always says, "I want more!" This is regardless of whether I am still hungry or not. What a dilemma! Maybe I learned this when I was growing up in a family of 11 people and we ate in a hurry or else it would all be gone. Maybe there was never enough to go around.

So, here's what I've discovered... When I sit undistracted and eat mindfully, I now pause during my meal and check to see if I am still hungry. If I am still hungry, I continue eating mindfully. I stop a second time and check. To my surprise, I am usually satisfied by then and will leave the rest of my meal on my plate, or wrap it up for later.

When my mind pipes up, "I want MORE!" I remind myself that I can always eat again again when I am truly hungry. I am learning to feed my hunger instead of feeding my head!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Eating What I Want

2005-01-12T05:25:00.001-06:00

Carol Solomon in her ebook Lose Weight Stay Slim Forever talks about eating mindfully and eating what you want. If you eat what you want and pay attention to the look, smell, taste, and texture of your food you'll enjoy it more. Having a meal then becomes a sensual celebration and not just feeding yourself.

I'm trying this and loving it. The goal isn't too eat until you're "full" but to eat until you feel satisfied. That's a subtle thing to notice, but if you're eating what you want, you've already started out assuming satisfaction because you're having what you want, not what you think you should eat. This way there's no guilt and no sense of deprivation, which is part of why diets fail.

So yesterday when I was eating a bowl of homemade chicken and rice soup, I felt happy because it was what I wanted. I was eating mindfully and noticing that I really enjoyed the taste, smell, look and texture of the food. Oh, and the warmth of the soup is divine. I never realized how much I crave warm food, especially in the winter. I thought, "I'm never going to eat something I don't like again." Eating should be fun and not rushed. I tend to rush through it and not even notice.

You can order Carol Solomon's book that teaches you how to use EFT to lose
weight, but clicking on the link here--->.
Lose Weight Now Stay Slim Forever!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Sugar is NOT my friend!

2005-01-10T01:50:00.001-06:00

Everyday so far, I've been craving sugar, but I'm learning that those cravings pass. I just give it a few minutes longer, and a few minutes longer. It's not like I'm white-knuckling it through. It's just that I'm not giving alot of energy to answering the cravings. I just notice them and go on with what I'm doing.

Today, I took myself out of Houlihan's for a nice lunch. I had fully intended to order their 'shrooms, but remembered they were deep fried and that would probably upset my stomach. I found myself thinking, "If I'm going to change the way I eat, then I'm only going to eat food that tastes good." I didn't want to be nursing that yucky feeling I get when I eat fried foods. So I skipped the 'shrooms and had a nice southwestern chicken wrap.

It was an exercise in mindful eating. Because I was having a late lunch I was really hungry. As soon as I started to eat, the temptation was to rush to satisfy my hunger. That would have taken all the fun out of noticing the blend of ingredients and textures. I noted the thoughts that said, "I want more!" when I'd only just begun eating. Then I wondered if they had a dessert menu. I noted that I was tired from staying up too late the night before and that's probably why I was contemplating chocolate. I kept telling myself that if I still wanted dessert after I ran my errands that I could stop and get something. During a later stop at Barnes & Noble, I picked up a diet root beer to satisfy both my thirst and my desire for something sweet. They had a sample of a cookie available, so I had a couple of small bites and did not buy the whole cookie. Yea for me!

The other thing I was glad to see was our first day of sunshine in about 18 days. I took the opportunity to go walk the 2.2 mile loop around Campus Lake. That's my favorite place to walk and I noted how I've missed it for the cold weather that's been keeping me inside.

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

What I don't like about Chocolate

2005-01-07T01:11:00.001-06:00

I was craving chocolate today because I was tired. So I went out and got some and surprise! surprise! I didn't eat all of it in one sitting. In fact, I noticed that there was a natural stopping point, where I'd had enough.

Of course, it keeps me awake, as it it now 1:15 am. It's the only thing I don't like about chocolate.

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Day Five - Making Better Food Choices Naturally

2005-01-03T23:02:00.001-06:00

I dined at a restaurant and noticed that I was more discriminating about what I ate. I tasted the chips with the sandwich I ordered and decided that they didn't taste good, even though in my mind potato chips are categorized as desirable once in awhile. I remembered that I don't like how greasy food makes my stomach feel, so I left them on the plate!

Also, when I went for my 2.25 mile walk, I recall my unquestioned thought about "I don't want to work as hard as I have to in order to lose weight." What sprang into my mind next was "yes, I do!" Hmmmm....something is changing.
Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Eating to Deal with Fatigue

2005-01-02T12:34:00.001-06:00

This report is a day late because I was feeling discouraged yesterday. It was all starting to feel like a diet and I haven't dieted in 20 years. I don't want to focus on food! To focus externally makes me crazy anxious.

I know I tend to eat when I'm anxious, so this won't work. My problem with food is in a few areas. I eat when I'm tired, especially after work. I eat too much sugar. And, I'm a member of the "clean plate club." I hear the little voice inside me that says, "I'm full. That's enough." I just doesn't listen to it. If I can focus on doing something about these areas, I'll be happy. I don't want to create a whole set of "rules" to follow.

So, since I've been on vacation all week, I've let myself nap when I feel tired. Consequently I have slept alot! I'm amazed at how much I've slept this week. I'm glad I didn't make a "ta da" list for the week and guilt myself because I ignored it. I just planned to read and sleep. I'm proud to say I'm doing a bang up job at that.

After my peanut brittle "binge" the other night, I couldn't get to sleep until 4am. I thought it was just chocolate that kept me awake, but maybe sugar does too. When I awoke the next day I felt like someone had beaten me up. If that's a sugar hangover, then I sure had one. Ugh!

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Day Three - Forbidden Foods

2004-12-31T21:33:00.001-06:00

Today, I had my "forbidden food." I love peanut brittle and tend to stay away from it for 2 reasons. First, I'm told that I'm "sensitive" to peanuts and that eating them will cause stomach upset. Second, all the sugar isn't good for me. But, peanut brittle also reminds me of Christmas and my Dad and I tend to eat it when I'm missing him.

While riding my exercise bike this morning, I noticed that I felt angry that my body takes so much maintenance. I want it to stay strong, flexible and in good working order without putting any effort into it! That led me to recall a time when I was first in college when I wished I didn't have a body at all. I just wanted to be some disembodied mind, I guess. Seemed ideal at the time. Oh, well.

I also wondered if being an unplanned baby, one of nine children, all born too close together and being "just another mouth to feed" has anything to do with the way I feel about food. It's like the scene in Monty Python's Meaning of Life, where the Irish woman drops another baby out of her while washing dishes and the father comes home from work and announces he can't afford all the kids anymore, so he's going to sell them off for research. In the meantime, he sings, "Every sperm is sacred!"

I am aware of feeling lonely today. It's New Year's Eve and I just started talking to a very interesting man who is away for the weekend. I think the restlessness and wishing he would call got to me.

More awareness and adventure tomorrow.....

Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Day Two - No More Sugar!

2004-12-30T17:18:00.000-06:00

Today I threw all my sugar down the garbage disposal. I don't want to be tempted. Plus, I am beginning to notice that sugar makes my tummy hurt. Because I reach for sugary things when I am tired, I intend to start resting more, instead of eating. As soon as the sugar was gone I did a little "Rocky" victory dance.

I realize that when I'm tired and craving sugar, even though I know it's not what I need, the thought that accompanies the craving is "I don't care." I suspect this means I don't care about myself. I want a quick fix, instead of looking at my overstressed lifestyle and changing that so I can get more rest.

What my tummy wants today is rest and peppermint tea. I also am expelling alot of gas (thanks for sharing THAT, huh!). On and off for a few months now, my entire digesting tract has felt like it's on fire. Actually, I can remember feeling this same sensation at various times of the past years. Normally I ignore it. Everything I eat hurts my tummy almost right away. Lately, I've been feeling bloated and drank a special tea last night to help clean out my colon, hoping to get a fresh start.

I'm reading all of Geneen Roth's books. Right now I'm reading "Why Weigh?" and looking at her exercises. I'm afraid to start them, to put my thoughts and feelings on paper. What if someone finds them? But the exercise that asked us to think about what we deserve really hit me.

I apparently think I don't deserve things that other people take for granted, a nice, cozy home, a good and loving relationship, rest, and time to do things that are just for my own pleasure. The truth is the things I encourage other women to do to empower and nurture themselves are not high priorities for me, but a source of paralysis and sadness.

I think because I'm "a career woman" that I'm not supposed to have or want those things. When people have asked me in the past, "How are you?" my usual answer was "busy!" That was supposed to be a good thing. I'm just now starting to question if I'm not a workaholic, that I fill my life up with work to avoid feelings of despair, loneliness and emptiness. I'm afraid that I'll never have what I want, but I'm more afraid that I won't stop my busy-ness to give myself time to have what I want....or that what I want is "silly." In that last statement I hear my mother's voice.

The sad thing about all of this is that none of the therapy I've had over the years ever addressed this. I guess I wasn't ready or my little voice that made these statements wasn't loud enough to be heard. Maybe because I "carry my weight" well, no one thought to ask me how I felt about my body. Plus my public persona is one of confidence and "having it all together." One of my girlfriends recently told me that she didn't think I had any fears! This is why I feel I need to face this now and on my own. I certainly have the tools. I just haven't had the motivation until now.

Day One - Making the Decision to Change My Eating

2004-12-29T18:59:00.001-06:00

I've been going to sleep with some acid reflux and waking up feeling bloated lately. This is another motivation to be more mindful of what and when I eat. I find that when I eat late, I don't sleep as well. I wake feeling still tired. Chinese medicine says that my chi is not being restored during sleep because it's busy digesting food.

For some reason, I wanted to have fruit in the house. I felt virtuous going to the grocery and picking up fruit. I want to start paying attention to what makes my body feel good and what doesn't sit well in my stomach. For years I've felt a painful burning sensation in my bowels and I attribute that now to eating food that doesn't suit me.

Tonight when having a late lunch (3pm) because I'm determined to eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm full, I notice my tendency to rush through meals and not really notice the food. I've always been in a hurry and looked at eating as something I had to do, but not necessarily enjoy. So my first challenge is going to be to slow down and notice what I'm eating and what effect it's having on me.

I've also noticed that I eat when I'm tired, hoping food (well, chocolate) will give me energy. I've been afraid of slowing down and just resting, but since I'm on vacation this week, I'm letting myself do so. I am reluctant to admit that I am getting older or that I am tired. To admit to being tired seemed like a weakness. I'm also afraid of getting bored. I get restless when I am bored because there's such a strong voice inside of me that says I "SHOULD" be doing something useful or productive.

I have this idea of putting signs all over my house to remind me of what I'm doing. The one I'm thinking of putting on the fridge is "is your stomach hungry or you mouth just restless?"

Oh, it occurs to me that the reason people don't do this kind of radical lifestyle change is because it's too hard and it takes a lifetime commitment. We don't like to approach things that make us uncomfortable, and I guarantee that in doing this program that I am going to brush into alot of uncomfortable feelings. We are socialized into looking for the "quick and easy" way. Few of us know the value of walking into the fires of hell and emerging victorious on the other side. As Joseph Campbell says, it's a heroic journey.

Well, that's it for now. More tomorrow.
Annette Vaillancourt, Ph.D.
Psychotherapist, Wellness Coach and Motivational Speaker - Offices in Carbondale, IL and St. Louis, MO
1-877-949-5935

Welcome to A Better Weigh

2004-12-28T21:29:00.000-06:00

One of the issues I've struggled with is weight. Actually, I wouldn't say I struggled with it; more like against it...against the standard of rail thinness that was considered attractive when I was growing up, which less than 1% of the population could ever achieve, and which seems to be in vogue again. Don't department stores know that the average American woman is a size 12 or 14?

Truth is I didn't really care that much about my appearance, as I thought I was rather plain looking as a teen and men didn't seem really interested in the "brainy" girl. So, I kinda gave up any effort to be beautiful on the outside and decided to focus on being "beautiful on the side." Besides, other things were more important. I was going to have a career.

At age 29, I entered a weight management program and lost 35 lbs and ran a 5K road race. It was then that I learned everything I need to know about diet and exercise and some behavior modification. My 5'7" frame will never be tiny, but for the first time in my life, I could wear stylish clothes. I also enjoyed the discipline of exercising and how good it felt to be building stamina. I felt powerful!

If knowledge is power and I'd had that kind of success, why didn't I keep it up? That's always been the puzzling and distressing part of this.

When I started my Ph.D. program in psychology I intended to "run my way through it" but the intense heat and humidity here in Southern Illinois quickly sapped that plan. By my second year, I'd gained 20 lbs back, even though I was biking and walking to campus most days. Graduate school was so consuming and exhausting my program just fell by the wayside. Again, I concluded that other things were more important. At age 33, I told myself "I just don't want to work that hard to keep the weight off."

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this little voice saying "when you're 51, you'll start taking better care of your body again." Well, I turned 51 just 2 months ago.

Now, as I'm looking towards the next 15 years of my career and the rest of my life, I remember the dream I had as a child to either be a dancer or an athlete. I look at my aging body with both fondness and sadness. I'm NOT getting any younger, plus my aches and pains are not going away. I still long to be an athletic person. It's one of those dreams that revisits you at mid-life and says, "Hey, baby, it's now or never! What do you say?"

What I didn't learn in my weight management program was about emotional eating and compulsive overeating. Even now, when you look in the DSM-IV under eating disorders, there's still only 2 that are recognized - bulimia and anorexia. Most of the people with those are either normal weight or severely underweight. There's no recognition that being overweight is a psychological problem. I'm afraid, it's still seen as "laziness" and a "lack of discipline."

So, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna learn this from the inside out and share my success and challenges here in this blog. I believe in being an example and teaching what you have lived, not just what you read in a book or journal. So stay tuned as I set my program in motion.